Masland Library Blog

START: You are a PBU student and it is a tiresome Wednesday. You think wistfully about the upcoming weekend but are then crushed by the thought of your project due tomorrow. For the most part you like your classes, except for this one. It is all lecture and you don’t understand the subject matter. It is a beautifully sunny day outside. What will you do?

· You stare out the window at the swirling leaves. (Move on to Number 2)

· You watch the professor diligently and listen to him talk about the Patripassionistic implications of Kierkegaard. (Move on the Number 3)

2. You completely ignore your surroundings and look out the window. You will never completely understand what the professor was talking about but your nerves are significantly more intact. Sadly, you do not catch the announcement about the quiz on chapter eleven next Friday.

· You think about existence itself. I mean what really IS it anyway? (Drift to Number 4)

· You contemplate your day and the conversations you had this morning. (Move to Number 5)

3. You do not learn anything about Patripassionism and become frustrated. It seems like everyone else understands what Dr. Wontlborro is lecturing about. You glance over the other students and you see their riveted faces, you are missing something. The class has ended and you find out about the quiz next Friday. What will you do next?

· You are a little hungry so you decide to go to lunch with your friends. What the professor said probably wasn’t that important anyway. (Continue to Number 6)

· You are too frustrated by the subject matter to remember that you are hungry. You walk back to your dorm carrying a terribly attitude. (Move to Number 7)

4. END: You look out the window and wonder about the finer details of existence. The invisible swirling wind forces you to consider the social schemas that govern every living creature. Both are invisible yet they affect us so drastically. You decide to write this down in your notebook and study it more. After class you rush to the library and pour yourself into research about philosophy. You change your major to liberal arts and spend all your free time writing a comprehensive book on the similarities between society and wind. The book is called Blustery Society: Better Grab a Jacket! It sells millions and you become famous. It is a good thing you went to the PBU library.

5. END: You narcissistically consider your own life and do not do anything that does not fulfill your selfish needs. After class you return to your room at take hundreds of pictures of yourself to post on Facebook. Your mother notices this obsession and confronts you about your obsession. You are incapable of seeing her side so you shut her down by insulting her fashion. She, in turn, stops paying for college because of your rude behavior. You must now get a job in order to support yourself. Maybe you should have spent more time in the library rather than the mirror.

6. Your friends rally your spirits by discussing their favorite celebrity look alike. Eventually the conversation bends toward today’s lesson. It is all over you head. What do you want to do next?

· Admit that you don’t understand the topic and get help but confess that you are not as smart as they are. This may hurt your pride. (Continue to Number 10)

· You are bored by the subject and you overhear someone talking about driving to the beach. They are some of your best friends and the next thing you know you are riding with the windows down to the Jersey coast. You promise yourself that you will read a little at the beach. (Continue to Number 11)

7. As you enter your dorm you see your roommate. They smile and you scowl at the floor then resign yourself to sitting on your bed dejectedly. What should you do next?

· Read the Wikipedia page for Patripassionism then start your project.(Move to Number 8)

· Talk to your roommate about all of your school woes. (Move to Number 9)

8. End: Your relationship with your roommate is scarred forever. There was no way you could have known that they were having a terrible day and that a simple smile could have lifted them out of an everlasting spiral of depression. You barely understand the topic but you start anyway, handing in something is better than doing nothing. Right? You misspell the word “Godhead” every single time and barely pass the class. But you do pass after all. Thank you, Wikipedia. Maybe you should have gone to the library for a more reputable source.

9. End: Your roommate sympathizes with your pain and you become better friends because of it. They treat you to Chick-Fil-A which completely changes your mood and wipes the project from your mind. You stay up till three drinking hot-cocoa and talking about your lost childhood. It was pretty fantastic. At about four in the morning you bolt upright in bed and remember your project. The library is closed by now so you can’t get any books. Luckily your roommate has a few books that kind of relate to the subject. You write half of the paper but are unable to finish it on time. Your professor is not amused, at least you have friends. Try picking up your books from the library ahead of time.

10. End: Your friends joke about your ignorance then realize that you are serious. They backtrack furiously but you can tell that they are mentally reassessing your intelligence. One friend slowly explains the concepts to you and even shares what book really helped them. You walk to the library and check out the book. Your pride is hurt but you are a better person for it. Good job!

11. You go to the beach and spend the whole day doing nothing but building sandcastles. You sleep on the beach that night (which is significantly colder than you expected) and watch the sun rise. When you walk back to your car you realize that it was towed during the night, the New Jersey police would have preferred if you had fed the parking meter. You spend the day searching for your car and getting it from the impound. You do not hand in the project and you end up failing the class (better luck next year!). The beach is not a good place to study, might I suggest the library?

~Rosalyn Forbes