Masland Library Blog

1. Speak in an appropriately low tone of voice. Not only will they appreciate that you respect the library quiet rules and do not need to be reminded of this simplest of concepts, low voices convey intimacy and tenderness.

2. Try to look things up by yourself. This demonstrates thoughtfulness and a respect that their time is valuable and probably has better uses than doing something that you most likely can/should do for yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it, but try to utilize the online catalog, databases, etc., before seeking help. This leads quite nicely to our next point, which is . . .

3. If you don't know what on earth you're doing, ask a library worker to help you. (They can tell if you’re confused, anyway; you might as well admit it.) Part of library workers’ jobs is to help patrons. Let them help you. Besides that, assisting a patron often demands the library worker coming and standing very close to them while showing them how to use whatever search program or whatnot on the computer. Just saying.

4. Hide in the stacks and come strike up a conversation while they're reshelving books. This lets them know that you comprehend the monotony and possible loneliness that is reshelving, and you enjoy hanging out among shelves of books. These are very good things. However, don't do this too often or for long periods of time, or they'll get in trouble for socializing while they're on the clock. And try to avoid being a stalker ("I've actually been tracking your every move for the last two and a half hours." [Not a real quote]). A one- to two-minute conversation should be fine.

5. Always try to find the exact call numbers of the books you want. "I'd like to get the book for Professor ---'s class ... the one that's on reserve”—is not a good way to ask for a reserve book. First off, that sentence doesn't specify the book title or anything else. Maybe there are fourteen books on reserve for that class. Secondly, most professors utilize the book-reserve option. The library worker has probably (read: most definitely) not memorized what books are for what professor and for what class of that professor. (See #2 above).

6. Do not eat in the library. This not only makes the library worker's job easier in that they don't have to clean up your food mess, but it lets them know you care about respecting rules and respecting books (double points!). Plus, you're probably way more attractive when you don't have cookie crumbs in the corners of your mouth.

7. Try to avoid using the library for the last half-hour before closing. If you're already in the library at that point, it's okay to stay. However, a patron staggering into the library, bearing a huge backpack and lugging an armload of books is the most disheartening sight to a groggy library worker (who may be finishing a nine-hour shift, for all you know) could see. Just don’t do it. But, if it's absolutely imperative that you use the library at exactly 10:30 PM at least have the kindness to apologize. Don't try to slink in like they can't see you if you don't make eye contact; it just makes matters worse.

8. Look them in the eyes. Smile. Thank them. Working at a library doesn't make a person a cyborg. Library work is repetitive, it is methodical, and it does require a sort of type-A personality. But that doesn't mean it's any less irritating-- or hurtful-- to be addressed or treated like a piece of the furniture. Plus library workers are really fun, and really attractive.

9. Be playful and engaging. Sometimes library workers wish someone would just ask them a silly personal question or start up a hilariously rollicking conversation. It's okay to start serious, scholarly conversations with library workers, but remember that working in a library doesn't limit a person's interests to books and ancient writers. It does probably point to a rather unusual love of books (or libraries), so introducing subjects of that kind is perfectly acceptable and makes you look smart. Or at very least, it shows them you're willing and eager to learn about subjects near and dear to their hearts.

10. For the love of all things holy, do NOT reshelve your own books. If you don't understand this without any explanation, you haven’t been paying attention. The signs say “Please do not reshelve books.” Obey the signs. Defying the signs means you may have trouble befriending a library worker.

**This list is meant to be humorous, though each point is based in good truth, and none of it should be taken as offensive.

Katie Burt